Gayle's Blog

i HAVE GONE TO A PRACTITIONER THAT PRACTICES INTEGRATIVE MEDICINE AND i AM GOING TO HAVE ANOTHER MRI TOMORROW.  I ALSO NEED TO GET BACK TO WORKING BECAUSE I AM BECOMING DESTITUTE FAST. 

I guess that it is about time that I share a secret.  I am fighting MS, everyday.  About 4 years ago, just as I was opening my own office, I had funny vision in my eye.  Thinking that it was an eye problem, I went to see the eye doctor who had great difficulty hiding her concern over what she apparently saw.  I know now that what I had is a condition called optic neuritis and is often the first warning sign that MS is present.  I scoffed at the thought, but, she insisted that I go for an MRI.  There in black and white (with a few shades of gray) was the proof;  seven lesions on my brain.  Wow!  I had a hard time believing it and the people that I knew did also and tried to rationalize it away for me. 

I came home and did days of internet research and learned plenty, most of it not good.  I knew that I did not want to take the available medications that were supposed to abate the symtoms.  Most of these are steroids or interfeurons.  I have tried to live in a state of denial since that day.  It's futile.  It is hard to deny when your right eye is virutally useless, and your speech starts to slur or you have difficulty thinking.  I always thought that somehow, magically, I would be myself again.  I haven't been and I probably never will be the self that I was that day or before.

On Thanksgiving morning I woke up and had great difficulty standing or walking; just like that.  It has been a week now and it hasn't gottten any better.  I walk like a person with cerebral palsy and it hurts and I can't go far.  I am in shock.  I have always been athletic. I have always been the strong one.  I have had to ask for help this week with the most basic tasks and it is a horrible feeling.  So, I'm scared, I'm uncertain and starting to become depressed. 

I am 56 and the neurologist told me 4 years ago that I would have a rough time of it.  I thought that I would beat the odds.  I haven't!   I have to figure out where to go from here.  I have no confidence in my abiliity to make a living and I am starting to feel like a 3rd class citizen.  I need a miracle, so, I would appreciate all of your positive thoughts tonight.  Thanks  Feeling loss in Tn.

Kittle came to me in June.   We didn't know how old she was then, but, guessed about 12 yo.  She was less than 24 hrs. from being put to sleep.  A rescue volunteer posted her to our Poodle group.  She was in Calif. and I was in Tn.  I volunteered to take her if they could get her to me.  Our Poodle national specialty show was coming up in Salisbury Md. and they relayed her to me there.  She spent the week showing off at the show. We came home and she just seemed so grateful to have a home.  She did well witht he older poodles. Then a few weeks ago, her perky little spirit just began to shut down and she died on a blanket in my room from general systems failure.  She had such a short period of being happy and such a long and miserable life in a puppy mill.  It seems that she deserved better.  We all will miss her.

I have been propelled by a series of unexpected activiy.  All of a sudden today I feel blank, empty, nothing to focus on.  I need a few more occurences to happen my way to keep me buoyed and focused.  Making it happen or trying that is, never works.  Showing up dressed for the game does.  I have to remember that on days like this.  However, on days like this it is hard to remember.  The neat things about real estate is that you never know what is coming up the next day, so, I will dress for tomorrow and maybe there will be a good surprise waiting.  I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.......

I just got back from agility seesion with Ricoh, my standard Poodle boy.  While there I was given some pictures that we had taken at the Halloween party at the dog care center.  I brought Marilyn that night, my little 4 mo. standard black girl; the diva.  These pictures are to die for.  Talk about expression and attitude.  This kid has got it all.  I am so amazed and thrilled.  These are big pictures now, 24 by something, so unfortunately I can't scan them and post them here, but, my gues is that you'll be seeing this little show girl this time next year at Eukanuba Dog Show or else Westminster.  She is a real doll baby.

I have been on here reading for"a fewminutes".  That began around 8 p.m.  This darn place is addicting for sure. I have even read about things that I never dreamed of reading about, but, alas, I am tired and going to bed.  I thought that I would write a really nice blog about our community but I kept reading, and reading, and reading.  I am sure that whatever I had to say would come out not making much sense so I guess that it will have to wait.  One of these days I will write a nice, well planned post but for tonight I guess that this is the best that I can do.  Not great, huh?  Goodnight all!  P.S.  My Poodles say goodnight too!

I wrote a contract for a house yesterday.  It was for a client that is a friend of a friend.  We got a great deal on the "perfect" house for her at about 30k below market.  The reason we could get such a deal is because it is a divorce and the husband is in possession and has lost any interest in the home and therefore did not even clean it up before marketing it.  My project is to act as the buyer's eyes and ears and in the role of a contractor of sorts.  I am going to budget and coordinate getting the place ready for her and her girls to move in to. She also is a product of divorce.  We need to paint and clean the entire house and then fix tiles, replace countertops and do some landscaping.  I am looking forward to this project and it will give me the needed change of pace that I need this time of year.  I have only done this for someone else on one other occassion and I really enjoyed it.

I am in my mid 50's now, but, I have lived an intense life and I have noticed that I am getting tired lately.  I also have noticed that although physically I can't keep the pace or do some of the physical things that I once did, I still seem to keep up because of life experience and being able to problem solve to work smarter instead of harder.  I see many of my friends retiring from their choosen careers and at times I am jealous.  At times I wonder how did I mis gage and end up still scrambling to make abuck with no savings to speak of.  Then I feel grateful.  I will probably never retire from this business, I will simply keep reinventing it for myself.  I am only occassionally age conscious.  Being active, being challenged keeps be feeling younger than my peers and keeps me wanting to keep on.  So, I don't know how old is too old for others, but for me, I'll never be too old.

I am just amazed at how creative and positive I have become in one short week of being at Active Rain.  I found myself stagnating, closed to new ideas and just willing to accept that it was time to endure the winter duldrums without much income.  I have always just pulled in and waited for Spring.  I feel energized now and reay to look at many different aspects of things that I usually don't have time for.  One of the biggest benefits is just being able to write here.  I am a "natural" writer.  It feeds my soul, but, I always think well when I retire I will write.  Not so now.  Everyday I come here and write about something.  I certainly hope that what I write about is of interest to at least a few, but, I mostly write for me; not to impress, not for points, not to get new clients. but, mostly to feed me.  If any of the other benefits come my way than I am grateful.  I feel alive and inspired and that is such a gift at this time of year, or any time for that matter.  Thank you AR>

Statistics Summaries Report

Category - Residential / Area: 15, 16, 17
Statistics for Entire MLS from 10/01/2007 to 10/31/2007

Statistics Summaries Report

Category - Residential / Area: 18 - Collegedale (Includes Apison)
Statistics for Entire MLS from 10/01/2007 to 10/31/2007

--Information deemed reliable but not guaranteed. This is a Broker opinion.--Copyright: 2007 by the Chattanooga Association of Realtors MLS
WATERFRONT, RESORT, COMMERCIAL AND RESIDENTIAL BY APPOINTMENT FAMILAR WITH ALL OF EAST TENNESSEE
Prepared by GAYLE BALABAN of THE BEST SPOT REALTY,LLC on 11/18/2007 9:41:36 AM